Surprises! Hanagata's True Love!
by Lady Aoi
Summary: CHAPTER TWO IS FINALLY UP!!! When Hanagata Gets a Boyfriend, Otaru Gets Some Questions. So rated for Language and Shonen-ai
1. Default Chapter

Surprises!: Hanagata's True Love!  
A SMJ Fan Fiction  
by  
Lady Aoi  
  
Summary: When Hanagata finds a boyfriend, Otaru finds some questions. Plays out like a (fan service) episode  
Rating: PG-13 for Shonen-ai and language  
Spoilers: Some things about New Texas and other countries on Terra Two  
Disclaimer: I think it's safe to assume they're not mine and probably won't ever be.  
Lady Aoi's Notes: Since I can't seem to put things in italics in .txt format, thins in indicate thoughts.   
  
~*~*~*~*~  
"I won't deny the pain  
I won't deny the change  
But should I fall from Grace  
Here with you  
Would you leave me too?"  
  
- The Smashing Pumpkins, "Galapagos"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
The still quiet of the morning was shattered as a missile rocketed upwards from an otherwise deserted backstreet in Japoness.  
Upon closer inspection, however, the missile appeared to have long dark blonde hair, blue eyes, and a large purple bow around it's neck. And it was screaming. Loudly.  
"I AM A THING TO BE PITIED BY ALLLLLLL!!!!"  
Several kilometers below, Bloodberry turned her eyes away from the hole in the apartment's roof and dusted her hands off.  
"All in a days work, eh?" she asked, turning her gaze to Cherry and Lime. The other two marionettes nodded gravely.  
"Che, stupid Hanagata," Otaru glowered, wiping his lips furiously with the back of his hand. "I can't believe he actually kissed me."  
"EH?!?" Instantly the attentions of all three marionettes returned to their master who was now rubbing his lips against his napkin.  
After blinking her large green eyes for a moment, Lime was the first to speak. "Otaru..."  
"I'll kill him," Bloodberry said decisively, slamming a spiked-gloved fist into her open palm. "Next time I see the little bastard, I'll split him open."  
"And I'll help you, Bloodberry." Cherry nodded severely. "Guys! Guys!" Again, all three marionettes turned to Otaru. Wiping his mouth one final time, he shook his head. "It's not as if Hanagata has some sort of disease or anything."  
The three marionettes exchanged uncertain glances.  
"I mean, sure he's nasty, but just..." Otaru sighed. "Look, let's just not think about it now ,ok? It's a beautiful morning, and we were having a good day until Hanagata showed up. So let's just try and get back to that, ok?"  
The marionettes looked at one another again for a long moment before nodding in agreement and setting back down at the breakfast table.  
"He always makes a mess whenever he comes over," Cherry fumed, pulling out a dustpan and broom to clean up the rice and pickles Hanagata had spilled in his attempts to grab her master.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
Near the Japoness boarder, a lone traveler tucked a map back into his knapsack and surveyed the gates to the city-state. Smiling slightly, he brushed a windswept lock of black hair from his face.  
"Well, here it is," he murmured softly, his dark eyes shining beneath his glasses.  
As the young man was about to continue his progress, however, something above caught his attention.  
"Good Lord," he murmured, pulling a pair of binoculars from the side of his backpack. "Surely they haven't started lobbing missiles at people just because they don't know them."  
As the stranger continued to monitor the skies, however, it soon became clear to him that the projectile was not, in fact, heavy artillery but rather --  
"... is that a man? What the -- why the hell would someone launch a man into the air like that?"  
Meanwhile, several feet above him, the blonde missile, had he been asked, would have been inclined to share in the stranger's puzzlement.   
"IEEEE!!!!!!" Hanagata paused his scream to take a breath and to glance at Japoness Mt. Fuji. The peak today was snowless and --   
"THAT DOESN'T BODE WELLL!!!!" He wailed as he began his descent to earth.  
Minutes later, every single bird in a large willow tree screamed in terrified flight as Hanagata crashed through it's branches.  
"OW!! OHH!! AHH!! EEE!! AIIEE!! OWWW!! OWW!! OWW!!! OWW!!"  
When Hanagata finally landed it was at the bottom of an eight foot, Hanagata-shaped crater. Stunned, he lay there for a moment, face buried in the moist earth, before raising his head slowly.  
"At least nothing hit my head," he murmured gratefully.  
CLUNK!!!  
"Mou... spoke too soon..." Hanagata whimpered, his face sliding back into the mud beneath the weight of a large tree branch as several tiny ponta-kuns danced across his vision. "This is a very unlucky day."  
"Well it certainly looks that way."  
Vaguely, Hanagata wondered if one of the ponta-kuns currently doing the backstroke three inches away from his nose had just spoken to him.  
"Hey, are you alright?" the voice asked again.  
"....... Nani?"  
"I'm up here."  
Slowly Hanagata eased himself onto his elbow and raised his head to look at the speaker, blinking several times to clear his wavy vision. And when he was finally able to make out the man's features, he let out a sharp and amazed gasp.  
A tall and slender man leaned looked down at him with a concern written plainly across his pale and chiseled face. He seemed young, about Hanagata's age, and was clad in a gray and white tunic and lose-fitting black pants which matched his waist-length dark hair perfectly. But the most notable thing about him were his eyes. One blue and one green, both peered at Hanagata through a pair of silver-rimmed spectacles with nothing short of compassion and heart-felt concern.   
The stranger standing above him was, in fact, nothing short of gorgeous.   
When Hanagata merely lay there, blushing and attempting to make a few sounds, the concern on the young man's face only deepened. Slowly, he knelt beside the newly-formed pit and offered Hanagata a silver-gloved hand.  
"Can you reach this? Are you in too much pain to move?"  
"Ehehehehe." was his only blushing and rather intoxicated response.  
The stranger nodded gravely. "Alright, just... just stay there, ok? I'll come down."  
"Mhhhh...hmmmm...."  
And true to his word, Hanagata didn't move an inch as the young man slowly climbed into the crater and slid an arm around his waist. In a few moments, he found himself gazing into a pair of compassionate and clear eyes.  
"You ok, man? That was a nasty fall. What were you doing in the air, anyway?"  
"Ano...." Hanagata looked at him long and hard before shrugging. After all, he decided, it would hardly do to tell such a fine specimen of masculinity that he had been catapulted into the air by the whims of a jealous and possibly homicidally unstable marionette. But before he could come up with a more palpable excuse, the stranger merely pressed a slender finger to his lips.  
"Shh, it's ok," he soothed, succeeding in making Hanagata blush even more. "Don't speak if it hurts, boy. We can sort all that out later. But right now, can ya just tell me your name and where the nearest hospital is? See, I'm new around these parts"  
New, eh?   
Well, hopefully you'll decide to immigrate,   
After a long moment of smiling blissfully as he studied the stranger's cheekbones, however, Hanagata finally realized he'd been asked a question.  
"Sorry...what -- could -- could you repeat that please?"  
"I just need your name and some directions to a hospital."  
Ohh... right. Of course. Those were easy questions. "H--hanagata," he murmured. "Hanagata Mitsurugi and ano... the nearest hospital is...."  
God he was beautiful. And hopefully he would attribute Hanagata's sudden relapse into silence as the result of his traumatic injuries, rather than any calculated ogling.  
And after a few moments, it was clear the stranger accepted the first of these two reasons.  
"Don't know, then? Well, shoot, that's ok! Just sit tight there, Mit-su-ruuu-gi," he drawled. "'Cause you got a medical student right here who's a gonna help ya."  
"Hai," Hanagata agreed weakly as the boy gently lifted him into his arms. "I'll -- I'll just try to hang on until then," he murmured, nestling his face against the boy's chest.  
And thankfully, the stranger didn't seem to mind at all. "Yeah, you jist rest up, Mitsi, while ole' Damien Houston takes care of ya."  
Damien? What a nice name, Hanagata mused as the young man began the steady climb out of the crater. Damien...  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Dammit, where the hell is he?!"  
"Otaru--"  
"Otaru-sama, please! If we don't leave soon we'll be late for the barbecue."  
"Barbecue! Barbecue!"  
Otaru shook his head at the three marionettes and shoved his hands deeper into his pockets as he paced through the living room. "I know guys, but he should have been back by now. I mean, usually you send him off and he's back in ten minutes --"  
"Yes, and begging for more of my pickles," Cherry interjected, rolling her eyes as her fingers again checked to make sure the lid from the pickle jar hadn't been tampered with.  
But Otaru continued as if she hadn't spoken at all. "It's been three hours now and still no sign of him. Don't you guys think that's a little strange?"  
"Oh I wouldn't worry too much, Otaru," Bloodberry purred from her cushion, stretching her arms up before folding them behind her head. "I hit him pretty hard this time. Chances are he's just flown farther than usual. It takes time to walk back, you know."  
Otaru simply stared at her as if Bloodberry had suggested he French kiss a squid. "I'm going to go look for him," he said.  
And immediately the marionettes were upon him.  
"Otaru-sama!"   
"Don't be silly, Otaru! He's fine!"  
"Ne, Otaru! I don't wanna be late for the barbecue!"  
The marionettes all began protesting so loudly that it took several minutes for Otaru to shout them down.  
"Guys! Guys! Don't you get it?!" Otaru cried, "Hanagata could be hurt or -- or worse in God knows where! And since that's the case, his life is way more important than going to some barbecue!"  
The marionettes all blinked and looked at one another. A long moment passed and then --  
"But Otaru-sama! My pickles --"  
"If we don't leave now we'll be late, Otaru!"  
"And -- and Grampa Gennai said he'd fly a kite with me! I don't wanna miss that!"  
"Dammit guys, now's not the time!!"  
Once again the marionettes grew quiet as a red faced Otaru glared at all of them.  
"Now, Hanagata's out there somewhere and we're gonna find him!"  
"Even if we miss the barbecue?"  
"Even if it takes all night! He could be hurt or -- or something and --"  
"Actually I'm fine, Otaru-kun."  
At the sound of this voice, the startled marionettes and master turned around. Standing in the doorway and leaning against a very tall dark-haired man stood Hanagata. And in spite of a few cuts and bruises (and his plaster-covered right arm), he seemed little the worse for wear.  
"H--hanagata?!" Otaru blinked and moved a few steps forward. "You're o-- where the hell have you been?"  
"Hmmm," Hanagata closed his eyes and smiled. "Do you want the story before or after I landed in the willow tree outside Japoness' gates. AND IT'S NOT FUNNY!!" he shouted as Bloodberry raised a spiked-gloved hand to stifle a giggle. "I could have been killed, you stupid piece of junk!"  
"Hey watch who you're calling junk, your Hana-ness."  
"Hey! S--stop calling me baby names!!"  
"Hannie chan!! Hannie chan!!"  
"Otaru-kun! Tell them to stop!"  
But at the moment Otaru's full attention wasn't focused on his marionettes or his next-door neighbor. Instead his hazel eyes turned to regard the stranger supporting the now red-faced and screaming Hanagata.  
"I don't think we've met," he said after a moment's pause.   
"Oh, I beg pardon, where are my manners?" the young man asked, shifting his hold on Hanagata to offer Otaru a hand. "You must be the Otaru Mamiya I've heard so much about. My name is Houston, Damien Houston from New Texas and --"  
"And he saved my life, Otaru-kun!" Hanagata interjected, throwing himself between the two men. "He's just arrived in Japoness to study medicine with Dr. Eboshi down the street and he was just entering the city when he found me. Thanks to him, my wounds were treated on the spot and thus I survived to tell this tale of --" he broke off to glare at Bloodberry "pulled me out of the ground after your marionette -- STOP LAUGHING AT ME, YOU WORTHLESS SCRAP PILE!!"  
"Scrap pile! Scrap pile! Scrappy Scrappy Scrap Scrap! Ne, Otaru? What's a scrap pile?"  
"If you want to see a scrap pile, just try hitting me again! I'll turn you into one!"  
"Oh yeah, take this, Hannie!"  
"AHHH!!!"  
Everyone quiet down!" Otaru cried, holding up his hands for silence and stepping between Lime and Hanagata (who was now rubbing a rather nasty lump on his head with his good hand). "You say you're here to study with Dr. Eboshi?"  
"Yup, that's right," Damien smiled. "But it looks like I got some practice early, huh, Mitsi?"  
"H--hai," Hanagata stuttered, changing through three shades of red as Damien clapped him firmly on the shoulder.   
Otaru just stared at the two.   
Mitsi? What the Hell --   
"Well, we're happy to meet you, Damien," he said after taking a moment to remind himself to ignore just how truly surreal this entire situation was becoming. "And thanks for taking care of Hanagata. If you'd like to, we're going to a barbecue today so --"  
"IYAAA!!"  
"Cherry?!"  
The purple-haired marionette stood in the center of the floor, her eyes wide with horror. "Otaru-sama!! The -- the barbecue!! We're fifteen minutes late!"  
"Ch--cherry?!"  
But the small marionette was no longer listening to anyone as she rapidly piled carton after carton of food into an astonished Bloodberry's arms.  
"We can't possibly wait any longer, Otaru-sama!! The yakisoba will get cold if we don't leave now!"  
"Hey, watchit, Cherry!" Bloodberry growled. Then. "She's right, Otaru, we should go."  
"But," Otaru looked uncomfortably at Hanagata and Damien. "I know guys, but --"  
"Ne, Otaru, I'm hungry." Lime whimpered, glancing interestedly at the boxes in the tall marionette's arms as her stomach growled conspicuously.  
Otaru sighed. "Hanagata, are you gonna be able to walk?"  
"I --" Hanagata hesitated for a moment, biting on his quivering lip as he looked uncertainly from Otaru to Damien. "No, it's alright, chum," he said at last. "After what happened this morning, I don't think I'm really in any shape for an outing."  
"No, it's fine, really. Bloodberry can carry you --"  
"The hell I will," the crimson-haired marionette murmured, glaring daggers at Hanagata from around the pile of Cherry's boxes.  
As Hanagata palled slightly at Bloodberry's glare, Damien nodded gravely. "I'm afraid I'm gonna hafta agree with Mitsi here. He's been through a heckuva lot today. And as his doctor -- at least a temporary one -- I say he should stay home and rest."  
"Well, ok, but it's really not a big deal if you wanna come you know."   
"No, that's ok. I think I need to stay and take carea him. See if he needs anything, ya know?"  
"Oh. Right. Well, if you're sure then, Hanagata..."  
"It's perfectly alright, Otaru-kun," Hanagata said, giving his neighbor what he hoped was a confident and natural smile. "I'll just get some rest so my arm can heal. I'll see you later, yes?"  
"But --"  
"Otaru-sama, the yakisoba --"  
"I'm hungry, Otaru!"  
"Hai," Otaru shoved his hands into his pockets. "Well, what are we waiting for?" he asked, turning around to flash the marionettes what he hoped was a confident and natural grin. "Let's get to that barbecue and have some chow, huh?"  
"Yay!!" Damien winced and wrapped a steadying arm around Hanagata's shoulder as Lime barreled through the door, nearly tipping both men over in her wake.  
"Lime wait for us!! You need to carry some things too!" Cherry cried, grabbing Bloodberry by the arm and pulling her out of the house, nearly forcing her to drop her load of boxes in the process.  
As the marionettes hurried down the street, Otaru turned back to the two men. "Well, see you later, I guess," he said, bowing.  
"Yes... go have fun now, Otaru-kun... and don't worry too much about me. I'll be fine."  
"Ok."  
Both men stared at one another for a long moment.  
"Otaru-sama!!" Cherry shouted from somewhere down the street.  
"Hai!" with one final bow, Otaru hurried from the room, admonishing Hanagata and Damien to close the door on their way out.  
"You see what I mean? Horrible she-devils!" Hanagata exclaimed as soon as Otaru was out of hearing distance.  
The dark-haired man nodded sagely. "They really are kinda strange. Back where I come from Marionettes don't usually talk that much. And none of 'em to my reckoning ever screamed or had emotions either. That something partic'lar to Japoness, Mitsi?"  
"No, thank God," Hanagata replied, rolling his eyes. "Otaru-kun's marionettes are special."  
"How so?"  
"They have something called maiden circuits which allow them to feel emotions."  
"Or pretend they do, you mean."  
".... nani?"  
Damien smiled slightly. "Well, I don't reckon as machines can feel anything, with or without them maiden circuits."  
"Oh... of course not," Hanagata said, putting a hand to his head. "Gomen nasai, Damien. I'm not... thinking so well now. I might've hit my head harder than I thought."  
"Yeah? Well we better getcha into bed then."  
Hanagata nodded. "Better you than him," he said, staring down the street at the rapidly vanishing forms of Otaru and his marionettes.  
"Huh?"  
"Nothing," Smiling, Hanagata turned back to Damien. "I just meant I'd... I'd rather have you looking out for me than him. I mean," he chuckled slightly. "If Otaru-kun's crazy enough to think marionettes are real, then he's obviously in no position to help me recover, ne?"  
"I see." Damien smiled and scooped Hanagata into his arms. "Well, were to now, Mitsi?"  
"I live right next door."  
"Oh, right."  
The door closed quietly behind them.  
  
~*~*~*~  
"Something's not right about this, Gennai-san."  
"Otaru, relax. I'm sure everything's fine."  
"That's easy for you to say, you didn't see him," Otaru sighed and reclined on the picnic blanket. "He had these weird eyes and when he smiled --" Otaru shuddered. "It was just plain creepy!"  
"From what you told me he sounds like a nice young man who just wanted to use his medical skills to help someone out."  
Otaru raised himself up slightly to give Grampa Gennai a trademark "did you hear a word I said?" look. "I don't like that guy, Gennai-san," he continued moments later. "And I want to know what he's up to."  
"Ah, I see," Gennai said, smiling slightly. "You're that jealous are you?"  
"WHAT?! Oh, please," Otaru rolled his eyes as Grampa Gennai winked knowingly at him. "I am NOT jealous of Hanagata Mitsurugi!"  
"Ahhh-Ahhh-Ahhh!" Gennai wagged his finger a few mocking inches from Otaru's face. "Then why have you been talking about him for the last two hours while your charming marionettes have played volley ball by themselves?"  
"Because my charming marionettes can very well protect themselves," Otaru smiled and waved as Lime called to him. "Hanagata can't."  
"I see. So what you're saying is --"  
"What Hanagata does on his own time in his own apartment is his business, and I could care less who he's spending it with," Otaru nodded. "But dammit, that guy...""You're a good friend, then," neither man missed the accusations implied by that phrase.  
And Otaru blushed slightly at sensing them. "C'mon, Gennai-san! It's not like that! We both know Hanagata has the judgment of a sea-sponge when it comes to a pretty face."  
The older man nodded sagely. "And some of us, it seems, know that better than others."  
Otaru scoffed. "Ahh, who am I kiddin', he's fine! He's probably sitting there in bed, drinking tea and eating sukiyaki while yucking it up with with his new friend and not even worrying about him or his creepy eyes! Who wants to play volleyball! I think I wanna play volleyball, how about you?! Well fine!" and before Gennai could answer the rather harried question and answer, the young man jumped up, cursed as he tripped over his blanket, dragged it several stumbling feet, and finally kicked it onto a surprised child's sand castle before tearing a clumsy pathway to the in-progress volleyball game.  
Gennai merely sighed and sipped his drink. "Kids," he murmured sadly, shaking his head.  
  
~*~*~*~  
Hanagata sighed contentedly as he snuggled into the down-filled comforters. "You've been so good to me," he murmured, looking up at Damien. "Arigatou gozimasu."  
The New Texan boy merely nodded as he adjusted his glasses on his high and angular nose. "Anything else I can get for ya, Mitsi?" he asked, straightening the bow on Hanagata's purple nightgown once again.  
Hanagata blushed a little as Damien's long fingers brushed against his collar bone. "H--hai, there is."  
"And what would that be, honey?"  
At this appellation, Hanagata blushed even more.  
"Did he just call me honey?"  
Damien smiled and nodded, blushing a little himself.  
"...And did I just say that out loud?"  
Again Damien smiled and nodded.  
Oh, crap. Hanagata thought, burying his face in his hands. Now he probably thinks I'm some kind of freak. Chalk one more failure up to your big mouth, Mitsurugi.  
"And no, I don't think you're weird for wond'rin' why I called ya that."  
"Nani?"  
Is he a mind reader too?  
"See, where I come from, it's a term of affection," Damien explained, smoothing a hand through his dark locks. "Ya know, like -- well kinda like buddy, amigo, kemosabe."  
Hanagata just blinked at him. "Bud-dy? Ami-- Kemo--sa--?"  
"Ya know, kinda like 'chum!'"  
"Oh!" Hanagata nodded vigorously.  
What the hell is he talking about?  
"I see. Like chum!"  
Both men laughed whole-heartedly.  
"Like chum!!"  
"Yeah, like chum! Buddy. Amigo."  
"That's really funny!"  
"Yeah."  
And why the hell am I laughing?  
In spite of their mutual reservations, however, both men continued to laugh for several minutes. At last, Damien removed his glasses to wipe the tears from his blue and green eye.  
"Jeeze, why the heck're we laughing?" "You know I'm not entirely sure!"  
"Amigo!"  
"Chum!"  
And again they dissolved into laughter quickly bordering on hysteria.  
At last Damien managed to calm down enough to speak again. Clearing his throat a few times, he turned his gaze to Hanagata.  
"Actually, Mitsi? There's another reason why I used that word just now."  
"Oh! I mean oh... is there?" Hanagata asked, blushing.  
"Uh... yeah," almost nervously, Damien flicked a hand through his hair again and turned his eyes away from the blonde boy.  
"I used it 'cause...well, 'cause..."  
Hanagata nodded his encouragement.   
Sighing, Damien sat on the edge of the bed and patted Hanagata's shoulder. "Mitsi... what I'm tryin' ta say is.. I know I ain't known ya for very long but... but thing is, I really... I really think you're nice."  
"Why... thank you," Hanagata replied, clapping Damien on the shoulder as well. "And I think you're an outstanding chap, Damien!"  
"Uh-huh."  
"Amigo."  
"Chum."  
Both men giggled again.  
"But seriously," Damien continued when their laughter had subsided. "I -- when I got you outta that pit this mornin', I just..." he sighed. "Mitsi? You have any idea how sexy you are?"  
"Sexy?"  
"Yeah..."  
Hanagata chuckled again. "Ano... this isn't like 'honey', is it? It don't -- doesn't mean something else entirely in New Texas?"  
"Nope," Damien said after a moment. "It means just what it means."  
"Well... thank you."  
"Don't mention it, pardner."  
"Pardner... heh."  
A long silence followed.  
And then slowly, both men leaned forward and kissed each other.  
  
(End Part One)  
  
  
  



	2. Hana-ko in Love?

Surprises! Hanagata's True Love!  
Part Two: Hana-ko In Love?!  
a SMJ Fan Fic  
by  
Lady Aoi  
  
Summary: Hanagata's new boyfriend isn't all he appears to be... or is he? All is not what it seems...it seems.   
Rating: PG-13 for (limish-- HAW HAW!!) shonen-ai and language. And yes, Houston, we have fan service this time around. I'm sorry. Just couldn't help meself -_-;.  
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine... except for Damien who is.  
Lady Aoi's Notes: Ehehehe...More of the same. And I'd like to apologize to everyone who's been waiting for me to update this fic for the last three months or so. As I've told some of you, the thing wouldn't behave until now. I had a few parts here and there, but no real idea where I wanted to take it. At any rate, I hope that a third update (and yes this will be a four part fic) will happen sooner than the second part did. Please enjoy and tell me what you think ^_^.  
  
~*~*~*~  
The dark and cloudy sky framed by the window ignited with a fierce purple light as a long, slender finger reached out to flip the monitor's 'on' switch. As distant thunder shook through the Eboshi Practice's wooden frame, the same long fingers typed quickly at the keyboard, encoding passwords. Within minutes, security codes were bypassed and the pock-marked face appeared on the monitor.   
  
"Greetings, von Wittenberg," Field Marshall Goddel said, giving his subordinate a small nod.   
  
"Good evening, sir."  
  
"Lovely weather we're having, is it not?" the image asked.  
  
"My favorite kind, sir. What are your orders for tomorrow?"  
  
"Your contact with the subject is now continuous, I take it?"  
  
"Let us just say I see..." he paused for a moment, a smirk spreading across his face. "...more of him every day than most."  
  
"Yes, I'm certain you do, given your rather unique position. Have you obtained the desired information?"  
  
"Not yet, sir."  
  
"What has prevented you from doing so?"  
  
The man smirked. "Jealousy tends to breed an unfortunate amount of paranoia in a man like Mamiya Otaru."  
  
Goddel's image chuckled. "The hero of Japoness... who would have thought?"  
  
The dark-haired figure shrugged. "It is an inevitable bi-product of this operation, I fear."  
  
"I see. Proceed as instructed earlier until further notice."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
Even the computer screen could not hide the wicked twinkle in the General's eyes. "I am going to trust your judgment and methods in this matter, von Wittenberg. Do not shake my faith, or the fuhrer's, in you."  
  
"No, sir."  
  
"Good, I see we understand one another. Good night, von Wittenberg."  
  
"Oyasumi, sir."  
  
And with a few keystrokes, the consul went dead.  
  
  
~*~*~*~  
The strains of a slightly untuned guitar wafted through the Kashahari apartment, causing Otaru and his marionettes to look up from their lunch.  
  
"Today, I awoke beside a beautiful man who not only told me he was real, but offered to serenade me with a ballad from his native land. Therefore, therefore, please hearken to this song: "Home on the Range". Damien-kun? Can those oh -so beautiful lips of yours sing as well as they can... you know..."   
  
"Mhh...they would, honey, but they'd ruther have some... special Hanagata Mitsurugi sugar..."  
  
"Mhhh... tell them to serenade me and they'll get all the sugar they want, I assure you."  
  
"Well then, I reckon they'll jest haveta sing for ya, won't they?"  
  
"I reckon they will." A few guitar chords sounded and then a wavering voice joined them.  
  
"Hoooooome Hoooooome on the raaaaaaaange...Where the deeeeer'n the pontaaaaa-kuuuun's plaaaay!"  
  
The guitar's strings squeaked as their owner played a sour chord. "Ohh, Damien-kun! What are you doing?!"  
  
"Where seldom is heard--"  
  
"D--damien-kun!!! That's my --"  
  
"... a discouragin' --"  
  
"D--Damien-kkkkuun...!!!"  
  
"mrrrow!....word."  
  
"Mhhhhh..." the guitar fell to the floor with a passionate 'thud' as bed springs squeaked in protest. "Oh... you naughty, naughty boy! Right over there... ahh, yes... lower..."  
  
"And the skies are not cloudy...."  
  
"Ohhh....Oh! Yes!"  
  
"All daaaaay...."  
  
"Daaaaaamieeeeennnn-kuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnn...."  
  
And then the walls began to shake uncontrollably. For the third time that morning.  
  
Otaru growled and slammed his chopsticks onto the table. "Dammit!! Don't they ever shut the hell up?!"  
  
The three marionettes blinked at Otaru in surprise as the young man stormed across the room, seized a nearby broom and whacked its handle against the rightmost wall, thereby adding a sixtieth black mark to the wallpaper's growing collection.   
  
"OI, HANAGATA!!! CAN'T YOU TWO KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE?! WE'RE TRYIN' TO EAT LUNCH, YOU FREAK!!!"  
  
"Sorry, were we bothering you?"  
  
Snarling, Otaru pivoted to find the said freak and his boyfriend of two months lounging in the doorway. Hanagata, wearing baggy lavender silk pants and a loose-fitting (and presently unbuttoned) rose-patterned kimono leaned contentedly against the shirtless and jeans-clad Damien Houston with the attitude of a sun-fed cat. Both were bright eyed and aglow with an infuriating blush which seemed, in Otaru's eyes, to not only confirm the history of the morning's activity, but to flaunt it.  
  
"No kidding," Otaru murmured, glaring daggers at the two young men. "What the hell were you doing, killing a cat with a sledgehammer or something?"  
  
Hanagata looked at him strangely, blushed, and then threw his head back and laughed boisterously. "Oh don't be so mean, Otaru-kun," he cried, coiling an affectionate arm around his boyfriend's waist. "Damien-kun was simply serenading me with a ballad from the Wild New Texan West. What was it called again, Damikins?"  
  
"Uh... 'Home on the Range'."  
  
The Marionettes' audio circuits screeched a little as Hanagata cackled again.  
  
"Isn't that chaarrrming?!" he cried, walking two fingers up Damien's chest. "You're so clever, Daaaamieeennn-kuuuuunnnnn."  
  
"And yer so beautiful, darlin'."  
  
"Mhh...come here, my little prarie dawg."  
  
"Oww-owww-oohhh!!"  
  
"Hey! Time out!!" Otaru shouted as Damien began tracing his fingers down the giggling Hanagata's throat to his exposed chest. "If you guys wanna do that, then go get a room!"  
  
"Fair enough!" grinning, Hanagata grabbed Damien's hand and began pulling him back to his apartment.  
  
"NO! NO! We're eating! GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!"  
  
Hanagata sniffed and tossed his head. "Show me my lease with your signature in place of our landlord's and I'll be happy to comply. The thing is, Otaru-kuuuun, I own my apartment and therefore whatever I do in my apartment," he and Damien exchanged a secretive smile. "Is my business. Understood?"  
  
Seconds after Hanagata's laughing departure, Otaru slammed the door shut so hard that it instantly fell out of its track and into the street below with a loud crash.  
  
"Otaru-sama..." Cherry murmured as her master stood glaring out into the street in the now open doorway. "The door --"?"  
  
"Yeah, I know." Otaru said, remaining where he stood.  
  
"Would you like us to pick it up, Otaru-sama?"  
  
Otaru said nothing as he stared into the street.  
  
"Otaru-sama?"  
  
"No, just leave it there."   
  
"Ohhh DAMIEN-KUUUUUN YES!!!!!!"  
  
"Mhh...darlin'...."  
  
"Ohh!!!"  
  
"No, don't," Otaru said, holding up a hand as both Bloodberry and Cherry began walking toward the hole in the wall, fists at the ready. "Let him think it's funny. Two can play at this game."  
  
"Ne, Otaru? Why's Hannie-chan and Damien making those weird noises? Are they broken or somethin'?"  
  
"Yeah, Lime. Yeah, you could say that."  
  
"Mhh-- Mitsi --"  
  
"HAA!"  
  
"YEEEEEHAWWWW!!!"  
  
"Ok, that's it!" Otaru cried, slamming his hand into the door frame. "Cherry, Lime, box the rest of my lunch."  
  
"Are you going somewhere, Otaru-sama?"  
  
"Oh, nowhere, really. I'm just going to go and see if I can't fix that leak in the roof!"  
  
"But Otaru-sama! Can't you finish your lunch with us first?!"  
  
"I'd love to, but the weather man said we should expect a really bad rainstorm tonight. And I don't want us getting wet when we're trying to sleep."  
  
"But surely, Bloodberry and I can fix it for you."  
  
"Seems like nuking His Hana-ness would be easier," Bloodberry growled slamming a fist into her palm as the wall shook again in time with Hanagata's moans.  
  
"Che, forget it," Otaru said, shoving his hands into his pockets. "he's right. It's his apartment and he can do whatever he wants in it. And besides," he turned around, his mouth twitching with a smile that seemed unusually wide. "The fresh roof air'll do me a lot of good!"  
  
"I still think Bloodberry and I should handle it," Cherry murmured uncertainly. But she handed Otaru his plate of leftovers, anyway.   
  
"Trust me guys, fixing the roof will always be a Japoness man's work," Otaru said, snatching up the tool box on the way out the door.   
  
As Otaru began his noisy climb up to the apartment's roof, Cherry and Bloodberry both exchanged doubtful glances.  
  
"Looks like it's going to be a long day, huh?" Bloodberry asked.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
While the summer sun may have been hidden behind the low dark clouds that day, the lack of heat did nothing to assuage Otaru's temper as he hammered away at the broken and decaying boards. Damn that Hanagata! It was bad enough two months ago when he offered to let the creepy-eyed medical student room with him. But now that they were actually doing more than just rooming...  
  
~Dammit,~ Otaru fumed, slamming the hammer down onto a nail so hard he bent it in half. ~I don't trust that guy! No one with eyes and hair like that should be trusted, right? He looks like some kind of zombie. And besides,~ Otaru glanced down at Hanagata's doorway.  
  
~Who'd wanna room with that freak, anyway? I mean, he's got an annoying laugh, he's always glomping you, and...and besides, he's stupid, and boring, and really, really ugly.~  
  
"It sure is hot up here," Otaru murmured, wiping the sweat from his brow and putting a hand to his flushed cheeks. "Huh, that's funny," he said, glancing up at the sky. "Sun's not out. So I wonder why I'm feeling all..."   
  
And then it hit him.  
  
"Che, what the hell am I thinking?" Otaru glanced down at Hanagata's door again as his heart began to pound. "I am not attracted to Hanagata! I'm just concerned for him, that's all. Because that Damien Houston's a creepy character! I mean, who saves someone like Hanagata and carries him home and then immediately moves in with him unless he's after money or... or something else, right? Hanagata is in no way attractive, not even when he bats his eyes like he does, or when he crosses his legs, or when he puckers up for a kiss -- AND I AM GOING TO STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT SKIMPY COSTUME HE WORE TO THE SANJA FESTIVAL LAST YEAR RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT'S THE DEHYDRATION TALKING AND NOT THE FACT THAT I AM ANY WAY ATTRACTED TO HIM! Because I'm not. So there! IN YOUR FACE, HANAGATA!"  
  
"Well, that certainly takes a load off of everyone's mind, Mamiya-san."  
  
"Why, thank you, Gennai-san," Otaru said, bowing slightly. "Huh?" Otaru immediately pivoted, to find not only Granpa Gennai, but six more of his closest neighbors seated on the rooftop directly to his left. Upon being sighted, all seven men smiled and waved as one.  
  
"Uh... what are you guys doing up here?" Otaru asked, blushing.  
  
"Oh, it's nothing. Just our weekly poker club. We always met on the rooftop if the weather's good. Isn't that right, boys?" the other six men stared at each other in confusion. "I said isn't that right boys?!" Gennai shouted.  
  
"Oh!  
  
"Oh, yeah!"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
"We never miss it!"  
  
"Unh-uh!"  
  
"No way!"  
  
"Uh-huh... so, what are you guys really doing up here?" Otaru asked, giving his neighbors a dirty look. After a few minutes of shifting, one of them, a tall and currently unemployed fisherman by the name of Soujiro shifted his weight and stood up.  
  
"Otaru, we've all talked it over and, frankly, we think you're being unfair to Hanagata. Isn't that right, fellas?" The men nodded and murmured their agreement.  
  
"Huh?" Otaru blinked at them in amazement. "Uh... I don't get it," he said, blushing slightly. "Just how am I being unfair?"  
  
"It was one thing two months ago when you didn't want anything to do with him," Another man, Yutaka, spoke up. "I mean, he annoyed the living crap out of all of us, then, so we could sympathize."  
  
"But since that new guy moved in, he's changed," Gennai spoke up. "He doesn't come out as much anymore,"  
  
"Not that we object to this," Soujiro added.  
  
"But the thing we can't tolerate is the noise, Mamiya-san," Gennai continued. Again, the men murmured their agreement. "We can barely get a decent hour of sleep without Hanagata and that new boy howling and panting and banging away in there, and it's driving us all crazy! This is a respectable community, Mamiya-san, not the rich boy dandy's playland pleasure cruise Hanagata thinks it is. And we're getting sick and tired of listening to him carrying on!"  
  
"Yeah, well, how do you guys think *I* feel? I live right next door to them," Otaru snapped. "And besides," he added, turning back to his work. "What can I do about it? I don't own the apartment, so I can't throw him out. And it's none of my business, anyway. Hanagata's practically a grown man, so really he can do whatever he damn well pleases, and I don't care! Yeah, I don't care what Hanagata Mitsurugi does! He doesn't mean anything to me! Nothing at all! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a leaky roof to fix." Otaru raised his hammer and brought it down with a loud swoop and a bone-shattering CRUNCH!!  
  
"A--AAHHHH!!"  
  
The men exchanged a few looks as Otaru cradled his injured hand and rocked back and forth on the rooftop. At last, Gennai sighed and walked over to Otaru, placing his hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Otaru, listen," he said. "There's another reason why we all wanted to clear the air about this Hanagata issue."  
  
"If --ahhh... if it's about what I said earlier, forget it," Otaru said, rubbing his swelling thumb. "It's just the heat getting to me. That's all."  
  
"Maybe, maybe not," Gennai shrugged. "But the point is, Otaru, you've been saying things like that quite a bit lately. Enough that people are beginning to notice... and more than just the ones on this rooftop."  
  
"Huh?" Otaru blinked, momentarily forgetting the throbbing pain in his hand. "I don't get it. What are you talking about, Gennai-san?"  
  
"What he means is, if you keep having to reassure yourself that you're not interested in Hanagata, then maybe you really are interested in him." Yutaka piped up. "After all, that's how I acted when I first met Soujiro. That was six years ago, and now we're inseparable. Isn't that right, Souj?"  
  
Soujiro nodded and slipped an arm around Yutaka's waist. "I'm the first to admit that Hanagata Mitsurugi is the most annoying thing to come along since taxes and inlaws, but when I see the way you two act around each other," Soujiro smiled happily. "Aww, I can't help it! You're just so cute!"  
  
"I am not attracted to Hanagata!" Otaru cried, nearly jumping to his feet. "Do I have to start fighting you guys to prove it?!"  
  
Nobody said anything for a moment. Finally, Gennai sighed.  
  
"Alright, Otaru. If you don't want to admit that you like your boyfriend in front of a bunch of old geezers like us, then that's certainly your prerogative."  
  
"What the --" This time, the brilliant blush that covered Otaru's face had absolutely nothing to do with the heat or the sunlight. "HANAGATA IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!!" he raged, jabbing a finger at Gennai and then wincing as the exertion made his wounded thumb throb again.  
  
"Very well. In any case, Otaru, none of us like Damien Houston either, and we think his sudden closeness with your boyf-- with Hanagata is pretty suspicious, too. So we've been doing a little research on him. He's currently working for Dr. Ken Eboshi, whose office is located about half a mile north of the Kobe Market."  
  
"I know. Hanagata can't shut up about how brilliant that guy is to be working with a man like Dr. Eboshi," Otaru scowled. "So, what does this have to do with anything?"  
  
"Well," Gennai continued. "If I'm not mistaken, Dr. Eboshi's computers are run by a fairly simple protocol. I should know, I personally rewired them myself three months ago when his mainframe crashed. Am I or am I not a genius, boys?"  
  
Otaru's left eye twitched slightly as Gennai's friends all nodded their agreement and applauded him.  
  
"Thank you, thank you... and for my next trick --"  
  
"Um... can you please just finish what you were talking about, Gennai-san?"  
  
"Huh? Oh! Oh yes! That being the case, Otaru, you can simply walk in there and make an appointment to see the doctor, say for, oh, that thumb you've just mashed with a hammer. And while they're waiting to send one in to see you, you can just go down the hall and look into his files on the computer."  
  
Otaru stared at the old man, thunderstruck. "You can't be serious," he said when he was able to make his mouth work again.  
  
"Oh, but we are," Gennai beamed. "I even wrote the bypass codes down myself," and with that, he shoved a piece of paper into Otaru's working hand.  
  
For a moment, Otaru simply stared at the paper before glancing around to make certain nothing even remotely resembling a law enforcement officer was watching. "You know how much trouble I could get into if someone caught me using these things?!" he finally cried.  
  
The men simply beamed at him. "All's fair in love and war," Yutaka shrugged, squeezing his partner's shoulder. "And in your case, we think its a little of both."  
  
"Oh, no! No way," Otaru said, crumpling the paper in his shaking hand. "If you think I'm gonna go downstairs and pretend I broke my thumb just so I can get a legitimate excuse to enter some poor doctor's business to hack into his computer, then you all have serious problems. I am not about to break the law just because you think I have some sort of perverted crush on Hanagata. And you can stop grinning at me like that, Gennai-san, because it's not gonna work. I'm not about to embarrass myself like that for anyone!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
"Ahh! It hurts! It hurts!!"  
  
"Hang on, Otaru! We're almost there!"  
  
Dr. Eboshi looked up in surprise as the door to his practice flew open with a loud crash and a virtual whirlwind of marionettes blew into the room, all talking at once.  
  
"Otaru-sama, try not to move!"  
  
"Ow! Guys, it's not that serious! Really!" Otaru whimpered. "Ohh... the world is swimming before my eyes... the pain...the pain..."  
  
"Just relax, Otaru! We're here!"  
  
"Ne, ne, Otaru! It's okay! You'll get fixed now."  
  
"It's so horrible! I -- everything's going black! I think I've gone blind!"  
  
"Excuse me, may I help you?" Dr. Eboshi asked again.  
  
"Otaru-sama! Don't die!"  
  
"Ne, is Otaru broken a lot?"  
  
"Excuse me, may I be of help?"  
  
"Che, this sucks! Otaru! You shoulda let me and Cherry fix the drain pipe!"  
  
"But if I had you might have --AHH!! Don't touch it, Lime!"  
  
"OTARU!!!"  
  
"MAY I HELP YOU?!?"  
  
"Eh?" Four heads turned in unison to look at the red-faced Dr. Eboshi.  
  
"Sir," the doctor said, sliding his spectacles severely up his narrow nose," I must remind you that this is a medical practice. Please maintain a normal tone of voice for the benefit of our other patients."  
  
"Oh, gomen nasai," Otaru said, blushing faintly.   
  
"Now, what seems to be the problem, mister --?"  
  
"Otaru, Otaru Mamiya."  
  
"And what seems to be the problem today, Otaru-san?" Dr. Eboshi asked, flashing the young man a wide smile.  
  
Otaru grimaced as he cradled his arm against his body.  
  
"Well, I was --"  
  
"Otaru was on top of our roof fixing some leaky-leaks and he hurt his thumb with the hammer!" Lime interjected, leaning into the doctor's face.   
  
"We have strong cause to believe that his finger is broken," Cherry said, leaning forward as well.  
  
"And the baka wouldn't let us take care of it," Bloodberry growled, following Cherry.  
  
"Ne, Dr. Eboshi? Can you fix Otaru?" Lime asked, leaning forward until her nose nearly touched the doctor's.  
  
"Well, we can sure try!" the Doctor smiled, patting the marionette's head affectionately. "Otaru-san, just go back to room number 9A and one of my students will take a look at you."  
  
"Thanks, I --  
  
"Do you want me to come too?!" the three marionettes asked as one.  
  
"Hey, I asked first!" Bloodberry snapped, pulling Cherry back as she advanced toward her master.  
  
"Don't be so greedy, Bloodberry!" the violet-haired marionette cried, pushing Bloodberry away. "Otaru-sama needs to be with someone nurturing and feminine right now."  
  
"Hey wait a second! Are you sayin' I'm not feminine enough for Otaru?!"  
  
"WAIII, SUGOI!!" Lime cried, pushing her face up against the practice's new aquarium. "Hello fishies! Fishy! Fishy! Fishy Fish!"  
  
That's exactly what I'm saying, Bloodberry! Otaru-sama likes gentleness, femininity and..." Cherry's eyes glazed over for a few seconds before she wrapped her arms around herself and began squealing. "Ohh, Otaru-sama! Not here!! Think of what would happen if the doctor walked in to find you -- and me on the table like this!"  
  
"Sheesh," Bloodberry rolled her eyes as Cherry continued fantasizing and Lime began to tap gently on the aquarium's glass. "Well, Otaru, looks like it's just you 'n' --"  
  
Puzzled, Bloodberry blinked for a moment.  
  
"Aww, crap! Where'd he go?"  
  
~*~*~*~  
As soon as he was out of his marionette's sight, Otaru quickly discarded the too-tight makeshift splint Cherry had insisted on putting his right arm in. Flexing the limb a few times to make sure the blood was still flowing, Otaru crept cautiously down the hallway.  
  
"Hey," he said to the bored-looking pimply med student parked lethargically in the lab. "I just thought you should know, they're waiting for a doctor in Room 10B."  
  
"Really?" the med student's face immediately lost its boredom as the young man leapt from his chair. After thanking Otaru briefly but very politely, he hurried off down the hallway.  
  
"Sucker," Otaru whispered to himself, closing the door quickly behind him. After making certain it was locked, Otaru quickly pulled the med student's chair over to the computer and dug the crumpled piece of paper Gennai had given him out of his pocket. After glancing over Gennai's instructions to make sure he'd memorized them correctly, Otaru leaned towards the computer and quickly entered the codes. Within seconds, he found himself within the hospital's database.  
  
"Nice work, Gennai-san," Otaru murmured, stuffing the paper back into his pocket. "Well, well, Damien Houston-san," he murmured, pressing a few keys lightly. "Let's just see what we can find about you, ne?"  
  
~*~*~*~  
"Ohh, Damien-kuuuun," Hanagata whimpered, his mouth watering perceptively as he looked over at the young, dark-haired New Texan. "It's so -- so big....."  
  
"Aw, shucks, this ain't nothin'! You should see me when I really get goin', Mitsi."  
  
"And -- and it's -- is it all for me?"  
  
"Yup, you betcha! There ain't nobody else in this whole world, Mitsi, who can get me excited enough to get this way..."  
  
"But... isn't that enough for today? I mean, I'm -- I'm very grateful but -- I don't want to -- to tire you out or anything..."  
  
"Mitsi, honey, you really gonna turn me down after I worked so hard to get it all big 'n' gooey like you like it?"  
  
"Well.... very well then, but just a little taste, yes?"  
  
"Right. Open wide, darlin'..."  
  
"AHHH!!!"  
  
Hanagata practically cooed with delight as his lips closed around a spoon dripping with vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup and whipped cream.  
  
"Well, ya like it?" Damien asked as Hanagata swallowed thoughtfully.  
  
"It's --" the young man's blue eyes trembled with delight. "It's -- oh Damien-kun! It's miraculous!"  
  
"Woah, there," Damien said, blushing slightly as Hanagata hugged himself and rocked back and forth in paroxysms of delight. "It's jest a banana split, Mitsi."  
  
"But not just any banana split!" the young man cried, pointing his finger at the desert in Damien's hands. "It's the most incredible desert in the history of Terra Two! This banana split is -- it's --"  
  
"Yeah?" The young man asked, blushing slightly.  
  
"Oh, Damien-kun!" Hanagata whimpered as his eyes widened and sparkled happily. "You're so good to me! However can I thank you?!"  
  
"Oh, I reckon I could think of a few things."  
  
"Anything you want!" Hanagata cried, oblivious to lustful note in Damien's voice. "Simply name it, Damien-kun, and it shall be yours!"  
  
"Is that so? Well, then, Mitsi... I'd like a little sugar of mah own, if ya know what I mean."  
  
"Eh?" Hanagata blinked at him. "I -- I have plenty of sugar in the kitchen, Damien-kun," he said, blushing slightly. "You've been using it all afternoon in the ice cream."  
  
Damien smiled sadly and closed his eyes. "Yer so cute when ya pretend to be all innocent that it almost breaks my heart."  
  
Hanagata hid his blush behind a large spoonful of ice cream. "Well if you don't mean that, then what would you like?"  
  
"Mitsi, honey," Hanagata looked up, startled as Damien took the banana split out of his hands and placed it on the night table. "What I'm tryin' to say and in mah own bumblin' way is..."  
  
"You want to kiss me, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah," Damien murmured, turning red. "I'd like that one heckuva lot."  
  
"Very well, then. Kiss me." As Damien leaned forward, Hanagata turned his head to the side, presenting the New Texan with his cheek. Damien sighed and reluctantly bestowed a platonic kiss upon it.  
  
"And -- and there's more," Damien said as he moved back to his original place on the bed. "Mitsi, the thing is, I'd like to --"  
  
"No." Hanagata folded his arms and turned his face away. "I know what you're going to say, Damien-kun, and I absolutely forbid it."  
  
"But, honey," Damien protested, resting a hand on Hanagata's knee. "I told ya, it don't hurt that much. Hell, I'd be so gentle, ya'll'd feel hardly a thing!"  
  
"D--damien-kun --"  
  
"I'm sorry, I know ya'll don't like ta hear indelicate talk like that, but ya know I wouldn't be sayin' it if it weren't true."  
  
"Damien-kun, please..."  
  
"It's been two whole months, Mitsi, and we ain't done nothin' since that first sweet kiss the day I got you outta that hole in the ground."  
  
Hanagata blushed again at the memory. "That kiss was an accident!" he protested. " I -- I was still delirious from hitting my head, that's all! You know that, Damien-kun!"   
  
Damien looked miserably down at his hands. "That may be and all," he agreed reluctantly, "But that don't change the fact it was the sweetest kiss anyone's ever gave me in all my whole life."  
  
"Damien-kun," Hanagata sighed. "That's so sweet of you to say, but it just can't be."  
  
"But it's all fine when we're in here makin' those noises, or when I'm puttin' my arm around you in front of that next door neighbor of yours."  
  
"And I told you from the moment after you kissed me that Otaru-kun is my soulmate, and that I couldn't do anything to deny our -- our immortal passion, or the fact that fate itself has decreed --."  
  
"So it's fine and dandy by fate to use me jest ta make him all jealous?"  
  
"Damn it, that isn't' what I'm doing!" Hanagata screamed. "Sometimes fate just needs a little reminder, that's all!!"  
  
"Well, we been remindin' it for two whole months and it ain't changed nothin'. And it don't change how I feel, or the fact that I wanna do more than jest flirt in public and pretend ta love you. Shit, I could make ya so happy, Mitsi... and I want it. God, how I want it. Every time I see you struttin' past with that hair, and that laugh, and your hips swayin' like they do, I jest wanna tear your clothes off, pin ya to this bed, and take ya til we both can't see a damn thing. Where are you goin'?"  
  
"I'm going outside until you can get proper control of yourself."  
  
"Mitsi, wait!" Damien rose from the bed as Hanagata stalked towards the door. "I wasn't aimin' ta offend ya, I jest --"  
  
"You jest what?" Hanagata snarled, rounding on the New Texan with a ferocity that made the young man flinch. "You jest wanted to take advantage of me, is that it?"  
  
"Aw, c'mon, Mitsi! You know it ain't like that! Hell, that's the furthest thing from my mind!"  
  
"Of course. Which is precisely why you're having hentai thoughts about me, is that it?"  
  
"Mitsi--" Damien sighed and hung his head. "Look... I didn't mean to cause no trouble, Mitsi. God knows, that's the last thing you deserve after all you've gone and done for me these last few months. Takin' me into your apartment all hospitable-like, and givin' me the guest room even if I'm jest some poor nobody who can't pay ya a single red cent for it all."  
  
"Humph!" Hanagata folded his arms over his chest and stuck his nose into the air. "Well, that's hardly an excuse to have said such naughty things, Damien-kun! Especially when you knew there is only one man I'd ever do those things with."  
  
Damien sighed. "I know, Mitsi... and I -- I'm sorry, really I am. I shoulda never brought that stuff up."  
  
"No, you shouldn't have," Hanagata turned back around. "And as for being worthless... I wouldn't say that you are."  
  
"Oh... I -- I ain't?"  
  
Hanagata blushed slightly. "I mean, if you weren't here... who would make me such wonderful and oh-so-special ice cream sundaes? Honestly," he chuckled, lowering a hand to his stomach and patting at it. "If I keep eating like this, I'm going to burst right out of my clothes. And it's hardly funny!" he cried, lightly punching Damien's arm as the dark-haired man chuckled. "Oh, I'd love to see you laugh when you make me so fat they have to roll me out of here every Sunday to go visit Daddy and Yumeji. Then, where would we be? Would you still find me as attractive if I weighed ten thousand pounds and looked like a whale in a bow tie?"  
  
"Oh, I hardly think that's gonna happen, honey. You could gain twenty-five, fifty, heck, even a hundred more pounds and you'd still be jest as sexy. Hell, who knows? Maybe even moreso."  
  
"There you go again with the praise! And truthfully, I am gaining weight. Feel for yourself." Damien blushed as Hanagata took his hand and pressed it up against his stomach. "Tell me, doctor," he said after a long moment. "What's the diagnosis?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know about that. I'll haveta conduct an examination first," Damien murmured. Slowly, hesitantly, he began stroking Hanagata's stomach, moving his palm in large, lethargic circles. "Hmm... slightly muscular... flat... the myoskeletal structure don't seem to have no problems..."  
  
"And fat?" Hanagata's lower lip trembled slightly. "Am I fat, Damien-kun?"  
  
The New Texan creased his brow in mock-concentration as he traced his fingers along Hanagata's belly. "Hmmm.... can't say as I feel anything out of place. Ahh... nup. I'd say there's not a millimeter of cellulite on you, Mitsi-chan..."  
  
"I see..." Hanagata was blushing. "So... the final diagnosis, d--doctor?"  
  
Damien smiled as he brought his free hand up to rest on Hanagata's shoulder. "Diagnosis: perfect. And my prognosis is... you have one hell of a sexy body, Mitsi. And someday, it's gonna make some lucky man real happy."  
  
"D--damien-kun..."  
  
And slowly, both men began leaning towards each other, eyes closing, lips parting as their heads tilted slightly. Seconds before their lips met, however, the clock on Hanagata's wall noisily struck one.  
  
"Huh?" Damien's head quickly jerked to the side. Wide-eyed, he regarded the clock, a look of abject terror overtaking his face. "Holy shit on a stick!"  
  
"Damien-kun? Whatever is the matter?" Hanagata questioned.  
  
"Aww, crap! I'm late for work, Mitsi! I was s'posed ta be there at noon! Eboshi's gonna kill me!"  
  
"Oh, no! And I haven't finished packing your lunch, either!" Hanagata cried. As Damien ran into his room to fetch his uniform and medical bag, the blonde Japoness youth fled to the kitchen to finish brown bagging his boarder's lunch. A few minutes (and, alas a few unfortunate food substitutions later), and Hanagata rolled the paper bag closed just as the New Texan came bounding out of his room, stethoscope flying around his neck.  
  
"Here," Hanagata thrust the bag into his hands. "I wasn't able to find any jelly at the market yesterday, so I hope you don't mind if I just put some fruit on your peanut butter sandwich instead."  
  
"I'm sure it'll be fine, Mitsi-chan. Thanks a lot!"  
  
"Wait!" Hanagata grabbed Damien by the arm and turned him back around as the young man attempted to hurry off towards the door. "Your collar!" leaning forward, Hanagata's slender fingers quickly smoothed the wrinkled material and rebuttoned the left side of Damien's starched collar. "Honestly, I'll never understand how you New Texans dress," he chuckled. "So many complications! Especially these collars. Half the time you just run out the door with it crooked, and that just won't do, Damien-kun!"  
  
"No, it sure won't," Damien murmured, raising a hand to gently stroke Hanagata's hair. "So it's a darn good thing I've got someone like you to fix it for me every day."  
  
"Yes, I suppose it is."  
  
"Well, I'd better be going," Damien said, patting Hanagata's shoulder as he reached down to pick up his medical bag. "And as usual, if I'm not home for dinner, it's probably 'cause I'm with a patient. So don't worry and don't wait up if ya can help it, okay?"  
  
"Okay, pardner!" Hanagata smiled. "But you know I will, anyway."  
  
"I sure do. And that's jest one of the million things I love about you." And before Hanagata could blush or protest, Damien leaned in and pecked him on the lips. "Well, see ya'll tonight!" he called, waving as he hurried out the door.   
  
"Mouuu, snap out of it, Mitsurugi-kun," he scolded himself when he noticed he was still blushing and waving long after the door had closed. "Fate has already decreed that your heart belongs to another. You told him that yourself not ten minutes ago!"  
  
And even though Hanagata knew in his heart that this was indeed the truth, the feel of Damien Houston's kiss remained on his lips half an hour later, as the Eboshi Practice's door chimes announced the tardy New Texan's arrival.  
  
"Wai! Wai! Damien-chan!!"  
  
"Oh, howdy, Lime!" the young man chuckled as the blue-haired marionette nearly bowled him over with an enthusiastic hug. "Wow, it sure is nice to see ya, too! Hey what're ya doin' here with your sisters? Didja break something?" He chuckled lightly and tapped the marionette playfully on the nose. "'Cause I told you, Lime-chan, marionette doctors are called mechanics, and I'm a people doctor."  
  
"Yeah, that's right! I remembered!" Lime beamed. And then, abruptly, her expression darkened.  
  
"Lime-chan? What's up?"  
  
"It's Otaru-sama, Houston-san," Cherry said, walking towards Lime. "Lime, let go of Houston-san now. He needs to get to work."  
  
"Somethin' wrong with your master, Cherry?"  
  
"Yeah," Bloodberry said, shooting him a glare from across the room (where she was currently curled up with a magazine). "Dunno if you heard with that racket you and Hana-ko were making, but Otaru hit his thumb with a hammer."  
  
"...And thanks to your lateness has been waiting to see a doctor for the last half an hour," Dr. Eboshi said as he entered. "Yes, hello, Houston-san. We are ecstatic that you decided to grace this humble clinic with your presence today."  
  
"Oh... Dr. Eboshi -- hey, Lime? I like ya too and all, but couldja let me go for a sec? I need to bow to my sensei."  
  
"Bowing is not in order, Houston-san. But as this is the fifth time you've been late in the last two months, I feel an explanation is."  
  
"Gomen nasai," Damien blushed slightly. "I um... the guy I'm boardin' with needed some... medical advice is all. I guess we just sorta lost track of the time."  
  
"I see," Dr. Eboshi's glasses glittered in the light as Bloodberry shot Damien another glare. "Houston-san, we will discuss the consequences of your frequent tardiness later. As of now, you have a patient to attend to."  
  
"Of course, sensei. I'll -- jest let me get all suited up and I'll get right back there."  
  
"Make certain you do, Houston-san."  
  
"Uh... gomen again," Damien quickly bowed to the doctor and hurried down the hallway. As the sound of his clicking cowboy boots vanished into the distance, the doctor sighed and buried his head in his hands.   
  
"What am I going to do with him?" he wondered out loud.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
To Otaru's adrenaline-flooded heart, locating Damien's file seemed to take forever. But finally, the last authorization code was entered, and a picture of the creepy guy's face popped up on the screen. Otaru shuddered. Damn, those mismatched eyes sure were freaky looking! How did Hanagata stand it?!  
  
"Whew! Finally!" Otaru exhaled a sigh of tremendous relief before scrolling down the page. "Well, now, 'Damien-kun', let's see what we have here, huh? Hm... Name? Damien Lovejoy Eustice Houston. Eustice?!" Otaru snickered. "Oh, I bet Hanagata would just *love* to know his 'true love's' real name was Eustice. Age?" Otaru blinked and whistled. "Twenty-seven? Holy crap, this guy's way older than he says he is! Didn't he tell us he was nineteen or something? Blood Type: O negative. Nationality: ... huh? Why's this blank? Everyone knows he's from New Texas. It says here he even attended the Medical Academy of Greater New El Paso....yeah, this guy definitely is weird." Otaru blinked. "Ano... why am I sitting here talking to myself? I need to print this thing off and get out of here. Hmm... let's see now. Where's the print button?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Mamiya-san? My sincerest apologies fer havin' to wait like ya did, but I'm here now. Mamiya-san?" Puzzled, Damien knocked at the door again. "You decent in there, Mamiya-san?" Silence. "You asleep in there?" Silence. Damien tried the doorknob. Unlocked. "Mamiya-san, I'm worried about you not answerin', 'cause I know that ain't like you. So I'm gonna ask again if I can come on in, and if I don't hear no answer, then I'm gonna come in. So... can I?" Silence. Taking a deep breath and preparing for the worse case scenario of a passed out Otaru, Damien pushed the door open.  
  
"Gomen, Mamiya-san, are you --" Damien blinked. "Hm...that's funny," he said, consulting his clip board. "They did put him down to be in room 9A.... so why is it that he ain't here? Could they have moved him? Hey, Rinji?!" he called, hurrying out of the room. "Yer on duty, right?!"  
  
"Yes... why? Is something wrong, Damien?"  
  
"Yeah... um, didja see a kid with blonde spiky bangs anywhere on this floor in the last... oh, half hour or so?!"  
  
The pimply med student nodded. "Yeah, he came to the lab to tell me they needed a doctor in another room. And it was a good thing, too. That guy's leg was in pretty bad shape...uh, Damien? Is something the matter?"  
  
"No, I don't think so... it's jest he's s'posed ta be my patient and I cain't find him nowhere now."  
  
"Maybe he's in the bathroom?"  
  
"Will you check there? I'm gonna try the lab. Maybe he fell down or somethin'."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Print... print...print...." Otaru looked furtively around the computer screen. "Gyah! Where the hell is the print button?!?"  
  
"Nope, I don't see him in here, Damien." Otaru's heart skipped three beats and nearly turned a somersault inside his chest at the sound of his new next-door neighbor's name. "Huh... that's odd..." Otaru had to clamp a hand over his mouth as the lab's doorknob rattled slightly. "I could have sworn that I left it unlocked..."  
  
"Huh...wait a sec, Rinji.... did you say the last place you saw Otaru was in this here lab?"  
  
~Oh, crap!~ Otaru turned back around and frantically searched for the print button. Dammit! It had to be here, somewhere!  
  
"Yes, he came to tell me another patient needed a doctor. But I already told you that, Damien."  
  
"... shoot. Ya think he coulda been delerious or somethin' with that pain in his finger an' accidentally locked himself in there?"  
  
"...It's entirely possible, yes." Again, Otaru struggled to suppress a whimper of terror as his eyes darted over the screen searching through menus, any menus that might have a remote possibility of containing a print option.  
  
~If they catch me in here I'm so dead! Come on, you stupid thing, PRINT!! User friendly my ass!~  
  
"Shit! Rinji, he might well be hurt in there! Ya'll keep tryin' ta get that door open while I go get the keys!"  
  
"You really think he might --"  
  
"Jest keep tryin' that door! I'll be back quick as a wink!"  
  
As Damien's cowboy boots clicked a hasty retreat and Rinji continued to rattle the doorknob, Otaru blinked the sweat from his wide eyes. He had to print the file before Damien returned and caught him in the act.  
  
~Damn it, Hanagata! This is all your fault! What the hell have I gotten myself into?~ Otaru wondered helplessly as an ominous clicking of heeled leather boots beating a hasty return filled his ears....  
  
~To Be Continued~ 


End file.
